We Are Our Brother’s Keeper!

26 Tuesday Apr 2016

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Hello everyone! I have a great topic to discuss today. So sit back and relax. Before you do though, let me tell you about this conversation I had with my trusted friend, sister, and fellow PK, Saderia Morman. She was telling me about some ideas she and her pastor (who is also a dear friend of mine) were thinking about implementing soon. As always, I said I was all in to help. She responded, “LOL!! Don’t get in trouble.” I knew exactly where she was going! LOL! That brought me to this week’s topic. Why do some people think we, as PKs, cannot participate in activities at other people’s churches, since our dad is the pastor at a church? I never understood that.

Well, let me just shed some light on things. We were raised in a house where the dad (pastor) helped everyone. That’s not to say that he didn’t take care of his own family. Let me just clear that up. However, we were constantly reminded that we were blessed; others were not so fortunate. So, we, as Christians, must help one another. Besides, the Bible says for us to help each other. Are we our brother’s keeper? Absolutely! So, since we are our brother’s keeper, shouldn’t we help each other? Again, absolutely.

Whenever I go to any of the churches on the district, anyone can tell you that I’m helping in any way I can. Basically, I’m an associate member of every church on the district. Although I’m the District Minister of Music, it’s nothing for me to be in the kitchen helping, singing in the local choir when asked, or whatever it may be. I don’t ask for compensation for anything I do, and they know they don’t have to give me anything for helping.

I said all of that to say this…it’s ok to be helpers one to another. I promise you that our dads (pastors) do not mind. Besides, where do you think we got it from? So the next time you see a PK at someone else’s church helping out, join in! Be blessed and good night! I love you!

Show Me the Money!

21 Thursday Apr 2016

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Here’s one thing about being a PK that my trusted friend/fellow PK, Vanesha Mason, reminded me of. Why do people think we are rich?? This is something I have heard for as long as I can remember. “Y’all got plenty of money.” “Y’all rich!” “Y’all got nice stuff.” Well, let me tell you…we are so NOT rich! By the time you finish reading this blog post, you will know that THAT rumor is NOT true.

Some people think being a pastor/preacher is a glamorous lifestyle. This is farthest from the truth. People just see that pastors/preachers get money during appreciations, love offerings, etc. Most people forget that our parents WORK just like others. My dad worked at 3M for over 30 years before retiring. Not only that, he had pretty descent credit, so yeah…he could pretty much get what he wanted.

My parents never discussed money around us. We were too young to understand. However, I do know we got our clothes at stores just like everyone else did. We didn’t have the fancy stuff like most kids do today. I know that my parents would NEVER spend over $100 for some Jordans for us. We certainly didn’t have it like that. Some people who…well, never mind…different blog! LOL

Besides, my dad was too busy giving his money and time to help others. As I stated in a previous blog, we did without so others could have. So, the next time someone tell you that PKs are rich, please let them know you read my blog, and I said it wasn’t true!

PKs are Members Too!

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

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One of the biggest problems I’ve experienced as a PK is church members forget that we are members of the church as well. That’s crazy…especially since we’re generally there every Sunday! Well, you might think, “How is that possible?” I’m glad you asked. This blog is going to enlighten you on why I consider myself a member of the church (LOL).

I remember this one particular time during a business meeting some years ago. The members were giving their opinions about stuff and making suggestions. Well, I wanted to voice my opinion about the same matters. I was looked at as if I had a horn sticking out of my head. “You’re the pastor’s daughter, so you will side with him.” In my mind, I was thinking, “Do you know how stupid that sounded?” My facial expression said, “Really? Did you really just say that?” But my mouth said, “Well, I am a member of the church. I should be able to voice my opinions.” I was really surprised to learn that people really didn’t consider us to be members of the church.

Well, what makes us members of the church? What gives us the right to have an opinion? It’s funny, but you’d be surprised at how often we as PKs have to defend our membership to our pastor’s church. But, since some want to know, here ya go!

Reasons We Are Members

  • We attend church just about every time the doors are open.
  • We pay tithes. This should have been number one!
  • We joined when our dad became the pastor.
  • We participate in church activities.
  • Did I say we pay tithes and offering?

So, people of the world, just because our father is the pastor, that doesn’t mean we are not members. Now, allow me to flip things. Suppose we weren’t members of the church. The first thing people would say is, “What kind of pastor is he? His own children don’t even come to his church.” But that’s a blog for another day! Peace and blessings to each of you!

PKs Need Love Too!

23 Wednesday Mar 2016

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Church people can be so critical. Notice I said church people. Remember that everyone who goes to church isn’t saved or is a Christian. So, take that into consideration in this blog post. Also remember that this spans over many years and not necessarily talking about anyone or any situation.

So many times, I have heard my dad bragging on people in the church, the stuff they have done or accomplished, and other stuff such as that. I can remember thinking, “Why doesn’t my dad ever say he’s proud of me in the church?” So, I asked him one day. What he told me made plenty of sense.

He said the reason he doesn’t get up and say a lot of stuff about me, my sisters, son, and nephews is because he doesn’t want people thinking he’s always bragging on us. He said that some people can be proud of their children and brag on them, but when the pastor does it, it’s a problem. He did let me know that he was always proud that we choose to work in the church and help him in the ministry. Every now and then, he will tell the congregation how proud he is of us. When he does, he makes up for lost times.

Being a PK isn’t easy. You have to have thick skin and a secure spirit. Most of the time, I do. But sometimes, it gets a little discouraging. I wonder if I’m really appreciated for the work I do in the church. So many times, I want to yell and scream and read people. But, if I do that, then people will take it out on my dad and leave the church. If another member did it, they would have it out with them and still remain a member…go figure. LOL! In the meantime, we PKs stick together! We are like a fraternity/sorority. We love each other.

Nevertheless, PKs need love too. The next time you see one, give them a hug and tell them you love and appreciate them. We have to go through so much…more than anyone can ever imagine. Peace and blessings.

We Are “Famous” People!

15 Tuesday Mar 2016

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One of the perks of being a PK is that people know us when we don’t know them. I’ve had people come up to me during our jurisdictional meetings, at other churches, or wherever and say, “Hey Terri. How are you?” I’m thinking, “Hey, but do I know you?” Nevertheless, I smile and speak back. They never know that I don’t know who they are.

Needless to say, we are known from who our parents are. It’s just like living in a small town. Everyone knows everyone and what everyone is doing. But PKs have it bad. We can’t do anything without being scrutinized for it. That’s why I say we’re famous. Being famous is a two-fold ministry if you will: (1) If you do it, I’m telling and (2) If you don’t do it, I’m telling.

The Do It Ministry

I laughed when I typed that. I’m going to tell you why. I remember soooo many times when I would do something and someone would say, “I’m telling your daddy.” Even at 46, I’ve still heard that statement. People watch EVERYTHING we do or say. But, it’s OK if they do or say it! Let me give you an example of the “do it” ministry. Suppose I went to the casino. You might wonder what’s wrong with that? Well, while some things are not a sin so to speak, there are some things that some preachers/pastors don’t believe it. But anyway, back to the scenario. Not long after I got there, someone saw me there, who I was with, and what I had on. First thing they will do when they get back is what? Yep…tell my parents. That’s the “do it” ministry. LOL! No matter what I do, where I go, or what I say, someone is going to tell my parents.

The Don’t Do It Ministry

You might think about this for a minute. The Don’t Do It ministry usually happens inside the church. Let me give you an example. Let’s say the Nurses’ Guild is having a program. One of the members ask me to do a program for them including choosing how the program goes, who’s on to do what or whatever. In this instance, I would refuse to do it because it’s not my program. I will format it, but the person would have to provide the information. Well, the person gets mad and does what? Yep…go tell the pastor that I wouldn’t do the program for them. Imagine that!! But it happens…I promise! LOL

So, now you see why I say PKs are famous. People are so busy watching and telling on us that they don’t have time to focus on them. At first, it use to bother us. But, we have gotten to a point where we just might do stuff for people to tell our dads. I’m glad my dad realizes that I’m grown and on my own. That doesn’t mean he won’t say something about it to me, but at least he doesn’t give the people the satisfaction of knowing he addressed it with me. LOL. I hope this opens up your understanding out PKs! Be blessed.

Why Are THEY Always Up Front?

08 Tuesday Mar 2016

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Well, some of you may wonder why PKs are always doing something in the church. Some of you may not even care. But just in case you are wondering, I’m going to share with you some reasons why we are always doing something in the church. Once you hear these reasons, you will do one of two things. You will either get more involved with the church or continue talking about the ones who do.

One thing people may not understand is that the pastor is our dad…our DAD! We are going to do whatever we can to help him in the ministry. That’s what children are suppose to do…support their parents in the church. Pastors have a hard time getting some church members to do stuff in the church. Either the members are afraid to try things, or they simply don’t know how but won’t admit it. Either way, there are jobs that have to be done, and SOMEBODY’S gotta do it. As PKs, our instinct is to do things to make things easier for our dads.

You may notice that I always refer to pastors and preachers as dads. That’s because in the Church of God in Christ, there are no women pastors…well, not that I know of. So, when I refer to pastors/preachers, note that this applies to women who are pastors/preachers. I would imagine that PKs who have moms as pastors go through the same things.

I remember when my dad first started his church in Vernon, AL. My sisters and I were the choir, praise team, and devotion leaders…and I was about 7! LOL. Well, maybe not 7, but close enough. Now that I’m 46, I’m the Church Administrator, Financial Secretary, Music President, Praise & Worship team member, and kitchen worker. Since my dad is the District Superintendent of the Columbus Floyd Smith District under the Churches of God in Christ, Alabama 1st Jurisdiction, I’m the District Secretary, District Minister of Music, and District Auxiliaries in Ministry (AIM) Secretary. Whew!! That’s a mouth full. Why do I have all of those roles in the church? One, my daddy is the pastor. Two, my daddy is the District Superintendent. It’s not that I want to, but no one else wants to do it. However, some people complain because I’m always in front.

In all fairness, PKs secretly don’t mind doing stuff for our dads. We want to make sure things are done right and on time. We surely don’t want anyone putting our dads in a bad situation. So, we do what we have to do to help our dads. I hope this helps you understand us more. Peace and blessings.

Why Do I Have to Share?

27 Saturday Feb 2016

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As a child, I never understood why I had to share my parents. It seemed like my parents were always doing more for other people and children. Why did I have to share my parents? It wasn’t fair. I never said anything to my parents about it. I just fussed to my self and cried at night. I wanted my parents all to myself.

Many times, I had to do without, so others could have. There were times when one or both of my parents couldn’t come to participate in my activities (when I did have some) because they were either at church or helping someone else. They gave money to others instead of giving to me. I guess they didn’t love me anymore. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.

It wasn’t until I became an adult and had my own child that I understood why I had to share. Living in Atlanta for 10 years opened my eyes. There were so many children who were unfortunate enough not to have parents who cared about them. For whatever reason, one or both parents were absent from the child’s life. I wanted to fill that void in those children’s lives. I had both of my parents. I couldn’t imagine not having both. That’s when I understood why I had to share.

Even now, I still have to share them. But now, I understand why, and I’m OK with that…at least more than before. Now, I focus more on the fact that they are older and are not able to do as much as when they were younger. Nevertheless, it’s like pulling teeth when trying to get them to slow down, especially when it comes to doing God’s work. I just pray that God will keep them and protect them.

I Was Drugged as a Child!

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

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You don’t believe a Pastor/Preacher can drug his own children? Psssh! Think again! This is one reason we as PKs have our issues…we were drugged…every Sunday to Sunday school, Sunday night services, Wednesday night Bible study, Friday night Evangelism service, and choir rehearsal on Saturday! We were drugged to church allll week! No wonder we hated going to church. LOL I said when I got grown, I was not going to church. But when I got grown, I felt weird NOT going.

The Bible states to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I’ve found out that not going to church for a month is not departing. There was a time I didn’t go to church. That didn’t last long. I felt empty…like I was missing something. Needless to say, I started back going to church. Now, I don’t go every day of the week! LOL. But, I do go to church on Sundays.

When I had a child, I promised myself I wouldn’t make my child go to church like my parents did. That was a LIE! LOL. My dad’s voice came through my mouth when I said, “As long as you are living with me, you are going to church.” Ohhh Emmm Geee!! I was officially my father’s daughter. I became the drugger! LOL! Whatever, it didn’t kill me, so it won’t kill him! KML!

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Why We Couldn’t Wear Pants!

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

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I remember wearing dresses and skirts all of the time. I hated it! But, what could I do? Nothing. I didn’t have a job, I had no money, nor did I have my own place…besides, I was just a kid. So, I had to deal with it. Talk about being cold during the winter. Back then, we had leg warmers. Do you remember them? I hated them. They didn’t stay all the way up. It never failed.

So, why we (my sister and I) couldn’t wear pants was biblical, according to my dad, the preacher and pastor. In the book of Deuteronomy 22:5 (KJV), it states, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” There you go. At the time, it did not register to my dad and many of the other people in the Church of God in Christ that NO ONE wore pants back then. Pants were not even invented. Sooooo….how is that possible? However, no one questioned it. We just went with the flow.

There was one time my dad let me were pants. You couldn’t tell me anything! I thought I was the next best thing to light bread. In this picture, I was able to wear pants. I can’t remember if it was a special picture day or what. Nevertheless, I will always cherish it! LOL

I was sooooo grateful for my grandmother. Whenever we would go over to her house to catch the bus, she would let me put on some pants she bought me. She felt sorry for me! (Thanks Granny!) But wouldn’t you know it, some jealous female at school would call my daddy and tell him I had on pants. Of course when I got home, I put back on my skirt. Whenever my dad asked me about it, I would simply respond, “Where would I get some pants, Daddy?” He never said anything else! Gotta love my granny. And to the female who called my dad to tell on me (yes, I know who you are), you didn’t accomplish anything! LOL

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